are you glad that i came
by cyclothimic
Summary: It was not her name – Linda Lee – but as far as she was concerned, it did not contain that much destructive energy and unpleasant aftereffects as a title like Red Daughter. She would like to keep it that way. She hoped Lena would help her keep it that way. l or Red Daughter escapes and Lena helps her with the real world.


**this fic is the first fic i've ever written about red daughter. i have never felt so talentless and unskilled in my life. to be honest, i have never intended to write a fic that's so heavy on red daughter. while i love her to bits, i thought i couldn't pull it off.**

**but when someone sends you tons of coffee, i took it as a challenge. **

**this one is dedicated for joan aka rebellionbear. thank you for the prompt and the boundless coffees you've sent me! i hope you don't hate this one too much :)**

**now, read, ponder, and enjoy!**

* * *

_She seems strange. Pretty, pale, immortal, and mystical._

_-Nikolay Punin, Anna of All the Russias: A Life of Anna Akhmatova_

* * *

It wasn't her name – Linda Lee.

Since the moment she was born, the Kaznians had bestowed upon her the name of Red Daughter. She wore it like a proud badge on her chest and an honored smile on her face. They called her the Red Daughter, and that apparently _meant _something. She may not have known much, since she was born only months ago, but she knew that meaning something meant _something_.

Except the more she learned of her strength and her capabilities, the moment she saw her…_sister_ lying in pain and almost dying, the more afraid she grew of her own title. Red Daughter, despite Lex's assurances and injections of confidence, seemed to only signify destruction and pain; none of the heroism and bravery that Lex and her fellow Kaznians had decorated her with.

After having seen her caretaker's true colors, his _lack _of devotion towards her, she assisted Supergirl in defeating him, almost losing her own life herself. But weak as she may be, she managed to escape before Supergirl's people could come and apprehend her.

She did not manage to travel a long way, the effects of Kryptonite sinking in sooner rather than later, and she dropped. Smashed into concrete. Created her own mold on the material. Difficult to move. Difficult to see. Difficult to breathe. Difficult to _anything_. She laid there and awaited the death that had seemed only minutes away.

It did not come.

What came…was her opening her eyes and getting an eyeful of a very pretty woman.

Lena Luthor.

Red Daughter looked exactly the same as Supergirl, but Lena seemed to be able to identify her after all. Something must have happened. Something must, because she could smell the coppery tinge of blood clinging to the raven-haired woman's skin and practically taste the saltiness of the tear tracks drying their paths on Lena's cheeks.

Lena looked simultaneously angry and pitiful and scared. All three at once. Red Daughter did not even think it was possible. She had only ever experienced one emotion at a time – then again, she was only several months old, younger than many infants.

"What's your name?" Lena asked as she knelt gingerly next to the blonde's limp figure.

Her throat was parched and her lips were cracked. But deep inside her, something served as a force to make her speak. Almost like doing anything for Lena was a modus operandi of hers – there was no way she wouldn't respond to a simple question like that, least of all from Lena.

"Linda. Linda Lee," she whispered, hoarse and pained.

It was not her name – Linda Lee – but as far as she was concerned, it did not contain that much destructive energy and unpleasant aftereffects as a title like Red Daughter. She would like to keep it that way. She hoped Lena would help her keep it that way.

* * *

She did not recognize this place. This big bed. This white blanket. The large expanse of _space _that surrounded her. There was a _window_. And there were no bars against the door to prevent her from escaping. As a matter of fact, the door was _wooden_, not concrete twenty-inch reinforced steel infused with mild Kryptonite – courtesy of LuthorCorp.

She gaped at all of these things, her brain running in wonder at whether she had finally gained permission of the freedom she had so yearned for. Can she go out without guards watching her? Can she feel the sun and float without having time limits placed on her? Can she eat as much chocolate as she'd like without having a dietitian clucking at her in disapproval?

Can she? Can she? Can she?

Her bare feet had only touched the carpet – _carpet_, not hastily laid upon cement by careless construction workers – when the _wooden _– she could not quite get over it – door opened. Her heart thumped at the sight of Lena walking in, whether in trepidation or delight, she still wasn't quite certain.

Lena looked up from her tablet and came to a halting pause at the sight of an awake…what was she? Who was she? She looked to the woman for guidance, not daring to speak, because the memory of Lena's impressively conflicting emotions from earlier was still stark in her mind. It honestly scared the blonde, to see so many emotions at once.

She had only ever learned to fight and endure pain in Kaznia. No one had every educated her about emotions. Well, one person had, but Lex had only yelled at her for _having _them, so perhaps that didn't count.

Lena inhaled sharply and cleared her throat. "Linda, is it?"

The blonde frowned and looked down at her hands clasped at the edge of the soft mattress. She wanted to stay in it forever. It was a cocoon – she liked cocoons. She looked up again at the raven-haired woman.

"I am not certain," she replied.

"What do you mean?"

"The Kaznians and…Lex call me the Red Daughter." Lena tilted her head. "When I was here in subterfuge, my alias was Linda Lee."

Lena nodded slightly. "Well, who do you want to be?" she asked after a prolonged moment of silence.

Freezing on the bed, Red Daughter and Linda Lee struggled with one another, struggled with the question. This was the first time anyone had asked her that question, given her autonomy, allowed her the choice to make a decision. Her whole life, it was being capture, being kept, being looked at and poked at – autonomy was not a thing.

She looked at Lena, waiting for the pin to drop. There was no way anyone could be this…nice. Everyone wanted something from her. Lena must want something from her. But the longer they stared at each other, the more she was uncertain. Because the woman in front of her was patient and respectful of her space. She did not seem to be in a hurry for anything – for something she wanted.

In her mind, Supergirl's voice rang in her head, reading the entries of the diaries that she had stolen while undercover. Those entries that sang praises of Lena Luthor, describing the woman as nothing less than a saint. Maybe no one could be this nice; maybe Lena was not just _one_…she was _the_.

* * *

"_Shokolad_."

Lena lifted her head from the arm of the couch, where she had unwittingly dozed off with her body situated in a crooked manner. Linda had wanted to lift and adjust her, but she remembered in a book that Lex had gifted her, wherein the main girl did not like to be touched without permission. Linda presumed that was proper etiquette – she would respect it.

The raven-haired woman blinked a few times and found the blonde sitting on the armchair adjacent to the couch, thoughtfully pronouncing the food she currently held in her hand. Linda held the sweet that she had discovered in the kitchen, part of it already consumed.

"_Shokolad_," she repeated. At Lena's inquisitive expression, she continued, "Lex introduced me to many foods." She considered the sweet and munched more on it, then, with her mouthful, said, "I like _shokolad _the most."

Tilting her head, Lena seemed to struggle with herself. Linda did not quite understand why. She was simply making conversation in an attempt to be loud enough to wake the woman up so she would not awaken sore if she stayed in the position for too long. Her attempt had succeeded. Though by the expression on her savior's face, perhaps she did not succeed quite well.

Then Lena heaved a soft chuckle, which came off slightly caustic but also unsurprised. Almost like she was chuckling at how she should have seen this coming. Linda did not know what this was, but she found herself pleased at having made her smile.

Lena had a beautiful smile – as Supergirl had described in her diary.

"Next time, I'll bring you some potstickers. I think you'll like them."

With a name like potsticker, it did not sound like appetizing food. However, Linda had had worse food in Kaznia. Perhaps she would like potsticker better. She nodded at Lena with a grateful smile and shoved the rest of the chocolate bar in her mouth.

* * *

Most of the time, she was alone.

Much like her brother, Lena was always busy, always tapping on her tablet, always speaking on the phone, always walking out the door with a comforting smile on her face. But unlike her brother, Lena had never inflicted any pain on her in the name of Kaznia, never poked and prodded her with synthetic Kryptonite just to see what ran in her veins, never berated her for liking The Little Prince.

She learned to navigate the television and brew her own coffee. Occasionally, she would watch the cooking channel and hoped that Lena would show up with some of those food. Several days ago, the woman had returned with potstickers along with other food items from a Chinese restaurant – Linda did not like potstickers; she much preferred the sweet and sour chicken.

Her lackadaisical comment had rendered Lena speechless. Lena had stared at her, mouth open and eyes nearly empty. But she soon shook herself out of her reverie and muttered under her breath.

Because Linda was also Kryptonian, she could hear: "She's not Kara, you idiot. She could never be."

Linda was watching a cartoon with three girls who had no fingers and had affinity for red, yellow, and green, when Lena came in the door, carrying with her five boxes of pizza and two large bottles of soda, all lugged in plastic bags. She watched as the CEO deposited all those items on the coffee table and smiled at her.

Linda looked back to the girls flying on the screen and turned back to Lena. "I would like to see Supergirl."

Lena froze, her coat halfway pulled off with one sleeve hanging listlessly. She stared at the coatrack for a long moment, as if she was afraid to turn around and face the blonde lounging on the couch.

In all the time they had spent together, Lena had never mentioned Supergirl, not out loud and on purpose anyway. Anytime Supergirl showed up on television, Linda could pretty much hear the way the CEO's jaw locked and her thumb swiftly pressing the remote to switch the channel away from the superheroine, not allowing Linda any chance to have a glimpse of her sibling.

Linda did not understand why. She had read through the entirety of the diary that she had looted from Supergirl's apartment. They were good friends – best friends. It even seemed to Linda like Supergirl cared for Lena a greater deal than she cared for anyone else, on an almost equal standing to Alex Danvers. And from their short moment of interaction during Linda's undercover, she could deduce that Lena cared a great deal for Supergirl as well.

This was illogical and unreasonable. Lena's apparent displease towards her identical sister. The way she always visibly reacted to any mention of Supergirl.

The raven-haired woman started moving again, jolted out of her indecision when the credits of the cartoon blared loudly, and hanged her coat on the coatrack as she usually did. She pivoted around to face Linda, and the blonde did not like the fragile smile hanging onto her red lips.

"Okay."

No argument. No outright rejection. Just two syllables, spoken so weakly and uncertainly, that Linda wasn't sure that Lena even heard herself.

* * *

The last time she saw Supergirl, her vision was blurred out and she had outright rebelled against Lex and she was trying to escape death. The next time she saw Supergirl, she was helping the woman in suppressing the mob of angry aliens who had staged a protest against Lena Luthor's presence in National City, a protest that descended into violence.

Supergirl had a blue man in a chokehold when Linda landed in the middle of the square – she was wise enough to pull her hair under a baseball cap that she had dug out from the depths of Lena's extensive closet. The superheroine's eyes widened and her hold on the man loosened marginally at the sight of her twin. Clearly, she did not know of Linda's presence, much less their distance from one another all this time.

In the back of her mind, Linda could not help but think that this would not end well for Lena's already fragile friendship with Supergirl, and she was of half the mind to leave and pretend that she was never here, because the strain of their friendship was obviously a subject of high distress for her savior. But these people were talking bad things about Lena, and Linda felt this protective urge overtaking her that she had flown out before she could compute that her presence probably was undesired.

Regardless, she was here, and Supergirl was obviously having trouble with the mob. Perhaps her being useful would help in the forthcoming argument between Supergirl and Lena. Linda had learned much about deescalating arguments from one of the self-help books that Lena had stored in the penthouse.

As she used her freeze breath to stop an alien from hurling an axe into a random direction, she hoped that she was doing this – whatever this was – right. If not, they could not fault her; she was barely a year old, after all.

* * *

It was very quiet – and she had super hearing. The quietness was so _dense_ that Linda fidgeted when Alex exhaled too loudly. They were all staring between Supergirl and Linda, bewildered and in awe and disbelieving. Linda met Supergirl's wide, confused, and hurt eyes full-on. She wanted to meet her sister, and here she was.

Then simultaneously, both their heads snapped towards the entrance when the familiar click clack of powerful heels resounded from several miles away. The humans became more bewildered – of course, they couldn't hear those footsteps so far away.

The Kryptonians narrowed their blue eyes at the entrance, almost growing impatient at how long it was taking for the person to arrive. The heels stopped clicking only yards away. Their ears twitched, listening as the owner of said heels inhaled and exhaled a few times, cleared her throat, and proceeded to round the corner and enter the lobby.

Lena was regal, self-righteous, and not at all nervous. Her coat sashayed elegantly as she strutted in their direction, unmoved by the silence that grew even denser at the newest addition or the wary stares. Linda would love to punch these people for even daring to suspect the CEO after the sacrifices she had made to ensure Lex no longer terrorized the world.

"We need to talk," Supergirl said, more like demanded. Linda narrowed her eyes at her twin, not liking the rudeness in the woman's tone. "Please," Supergirl added.

As they both walked into a private room, a laboratory of sorts, their shoulders were untouching and Lena was adamant to keep a safe distance from the Kryptonian while Supergirl had her fists clenched tightly. Linda suspected not because of anger, but because of an effort to not reach out.

Despite the closed door, Linda was not ashamed in her eavesdropping behavior. Lena had rescued her from insanity, depravity, and loneliness. She could not think of ways to repay the raven-haired woman, except to ensure that she was as safe as possible. Though Linda believed that the other Kryptonian wouldn't harm Lena physically, she would still like to keep herself reassured.

For a long moment, the two women were quiet in the room, as were the others who were outside the room. Lena and Supergirl were like two fish in a waterless tank, what with the transparent walls and everyone else watching them from outside. Everyone else being those who were invested in this situation and had an inkling of what was going on.

"Since you're not speaking, why don't I do it?" Lena finally said, haughty and confident, though Linda could hear the waver in her heartbeat; she bet Supergirl could hear it too. "I found her outside the compound after I shot my brother in the chest and killed him." Supergirl flinched. Lena pushed forth. "Her name is Linda. She likes to watch The Office and National Geographic documentaries. She reads Cosmopolitan religiously. She prefers sweet and sour chicken over potstickers. She is not a liar." Supergirl flinched harder, and Linda felt something clicked in her brain at that admission. "And neither you nor your DEO colleagues are allowed to poke and prod her with your experiments or whatever it is you operate here with your alien prisoners without my explicit permission."

Supergirl blinked rapidly at Lena's multitude of statements, all spoken quickly and allowed no space for interruptions. Lena came across put together and unperturbed, but Linda had read enough diary entries to know that the woman was just as vulnerable as the next human, and her apparent bad history with Supergirl obviously contributed to that, judging by the way her hands kept clenching and unclenching by her sides.

"Still can't speak?" Lena mocked, raising an eyebrow.

"What are they saying?" Dreamer asked from behind Linda.

"I don't think Kara has ever been so…speechless," Alex commented.

"Kara made me swear to never listen to Lena's thoughts," the Martian remarked.

Linda and Querl Dox remained silent as they observed. One a cloned Kryptonian with similar Kryptonian strengths, the other a Coluan with 12th level intellect.

"Lena, I –"

"No." Lena inhaled sharply and shook her head at the blonde in blue. Her eyes were…fragile, for once, and the way her lips pursed together was telling of how hard she was trying to hold it together. "I can't…" she drifted off, her voice cracking. "If you don't want me to hurl another glass object at your head – this lab is _full _of them – I want you to not say whatever you were going to say."

"They can't hurt me."

Lena raised both her brows, her posture tighter than earlier. "No, they can't, can they?" she whispered, a hand gingerly reaching out for a beaker and spinning it.

"Oh, no, not my beaker," Alex bemoaned.

After another moment of twirling the beaker pointlessly, the object was replaced carelessly back on the metal table. The CEO took a deep breath and closed her eyes; when opened once again, the fragility was gone.

"I would have contacted you today had it not been for the riot earlier. Linda wants to see you," Lena said. "And who am I to keep her from seeing her Kryptonian twin, from whom she can learn so much? Perhaps you can teach her a thing or two about disguises."

A third flinch.

"Actually, please do. I can't imagine I'll be able to keep her for much longer." Linda's heart dropped from her chest to her stomach. "I refuse to have her consider my apartment a prison. She deserves freedom." Linda's mouth dropped a little.

"Your apartment?"

"Like any other rich person on the planet, I have more than one place of residence." Lena's fingers curled around the handlebar of the door and pulled it open. "I have work to do. Once you're done, please guide her back to my apartment. I'll send you the coordinates in a moment. Appreciate it if you could keep that to yourself. After all, you're so good with secrets."

Not giving Supergirl a chance to say anything else, Lena stepped out of the laboratory and beelined for Linda, paying no heed to their companions. Linda stayed put as Lena eyed for a long moment, green irises traversing from her forehead to her chin and every one of her features, like she was searching or committing. Couldn't be sure which.

Lena then sighed and smiled weakly at the clone. "Don't be a hard time, Linda. Let me know if you'll be back for dinner." She left after offering a perfunctory kiss on Linda's cheek.

While Lena was walking away, swaying as she did, Linda allowed her gaze to travel back to her twin, who couldn't seem to keep her eyes away from Lena's diminishing figure. While Lena seemed to be doing her very best to be as distant and cold as she could muster, Supergirl could hardly keep the longing from clouding her eyes.

* * *

Together, the two Kryptonians took flight, the clone following the original. Apart from the winds billowing and roaring past their skins and their ears, the constant hums of humanity and the trembles of the earth, the twins were quiet. Both hands extended ahead, golden hair unraveled by the velocity, and heavy ponderances clouding their minds.

They had almost everything in common. Strength, skills, powers, appetite, and Lena Luthor. Perhaps the last one was the most important of them all. Linda had a hunch Supergirl and she would be…acquaintances at best – they were too much alike to ever be close – but Lena would probably the one thing that kept them connected.

Soon, Supergirl began to slow, and Linda followed. In front laid out the expanse of uninterrupted and yet to be blemished natural estate, where the hills were still green, the clouds still pure white, the lake waters still and blue, the melting snow melting because of the shifting season and not for the damaging temperature that was manmade.

Linda blinked at the vision before her. She had never seen something like this before. Just looking at it gave her peace, offered a sense of quiet to her seemingly constantly raging mind. She thought she could build a cabin here and live in solitude and not be perturbed at it all.

Supergirl allowed her a few minutes to enjoy it, and then she flied downwards. Soon, they bypassed branches and leaves and landed in the middle of the jungle. As if manifested from her brief thoughts alone, there stood a wooden cabin in the midst of the forest. She looked at her twin in curiosity, who only sighed and gestured for Linda to follow as they entered the cabin.

It was cozy. The furniture was meek and homely. The fireplace fresh and unused. There were only two doors – Linda presumed they each led to a bedroom and bathroom. Without waiting for permission, Linda made herself comfortable on the couch, almost moaning at the way the colorful cushions just engulfed her like so.

"I built this for Lena," Supergirl offered as she emerged from one of the rooms. She stared at the fireplace for a long time. "I wanted this to be a place where she could have some quiet. Look at the greens, instead of her tablet. Maybe even take up gardening out there if she wants to." Her voice grew quieter with each sentence as she disappeared into her own mind. Then she turned back to Linda with a bitter smile. "Maybe you can bring her here."

Linda stared at her twin. She wanted to see Supergirl not because she could learn a lot from Supergirl. She had learned all she needed to know about herself as a Kryptonian from Lex, much as she hated to think about it. Lena was teaching her how to be a human, introducing her to Chinese food and television and – judging from her words earlier – encouraging her to go out.

No, she wanted to see Supergirl because the last time they saw each other, it was bloody and painful and they barely had enough time to have a good look at each other. There was strain and animosity and Linda could still feel what it was like to punch Supergirl in the face.

"Why does she hate you?"

Supergirl seemed a little startled by the question. Then she said, "She doesn't."

"I think she does."

"I know she looks like she does. She certainly likes to pretend she does, but she doesn't." Supergirl tilted her head and looked upwards. "She's hurt. She's angry. She's frustrated. And she has every right to be all of those things. But she doesn't hate me, even though she has a right to hate me as well." Supergirl sat next to Linda on the couch. "I betrayed her trust, Linda. She trusted me implicitly, more than anyone. I was supposed to be her best friend and her confidante. I wasn't supposed to betray her and lie to her like I did." Her eyes clouded over. "She may never forgive me, and I wouldn't blame her. Then again, I'm supposed to live for a really long time. I can wait. This house will still be here."

Linda wanted to ask earlier, but those words convinced her not to. She may have been born not too long ago. She may have only known of trivial stuff like human emotions through books Lex wanted her to hate and the movies that Lena introduced her to.

But she knew. Just looking at her distressed and quiet twin, who had her hands clasped on her lap and her eyes cast nowhere and her lips pulled into a grimace, Linda knew.

* * *

"She loves you."

Lena stilled where she was at the kitchen island, working – more like cursing – at the coffee machine. She narrowed her eyes at Linda, who was curled up on the armchair with a blanket covering her balled up physique. In the background, some guy named Morgan Freeman was voicing god.

"Kara." Before they had left the cabin, Supergirl had given her permission to call her by her given name.

"_We're twins, after all_," Kara had said with a grin.

"She loves you," Linda reiterated.

Lena's hand moved over the coffee machine with no intent. And then she chuckled. Linda thought this was probably the first time since their encounter that it sounded genuinely delighted – mellifluous and like a song. Linda wondered no longer as to why Kara loved Lena so deeply after hearing that sound.

"You are so much like her sometimes," Lena commented.

Then she made the coffee.

* * *

It was three in the morning. Her throat felt parched. Linda reluctantly climbed out from the comfy bed that she had occupied since the morning she woke up here. She made her way to the door, still clouded by slumber, but paused by the corner when she saw the balcony.

Or rather, who were on the balcony – Lena and Kara.

They were not touching, still standing a certain distance apart. Though unlike two days ago at the DEO headquarters, Lena had a small smile on her face and Kara was grinning widely.

Linda elected to drink from the tap in the bathroom.

* * *

**i got so into the headspace of linda that i started thinking in russian accent. this was so difficult holy crap. i don't think i'll be writing another red daughter fic in the future. **

**if you wanna commission a fic, i implore you to avoid red daughter fics, because they'll turn out like crap. **


End file.
